I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
