Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
