would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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