Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
