i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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