omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
