Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
