was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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