Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
