bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
