my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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