I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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