Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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