But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize