when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
