My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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