It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
