I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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