Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
