were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize