...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
