When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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