quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
