I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
