Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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