any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
