just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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