He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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