oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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