You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
