Yo dont text me then not text me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
