this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
