Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
