I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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