I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
