apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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