Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
