Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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