WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
