just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
