i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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