people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
