i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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