I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
