And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
