just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
