I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
