do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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