She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
