I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
