If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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