spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
