I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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