Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
