I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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