You work out of a Hotel?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
