The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
