i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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