no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
