i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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