Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
